Being Kind to Myself: My Unexpected Pregnancy and Postpartum Journey

In honor of April being Cesarean Awareness Month it only felt fitting to reshare my birth journey.

When I found out I was pregnant I was already a practicing pelvic floor physical therapist and birth doula. So when I announced I was pregnant I was often met with a well meaning "I bet you already know everything" or "you'll be fine because you're already so prepared!". I certainly felt like I knew a lot, but when it's happening to your own body, it feels so different. I overcame debilitating pregnancy-long nausea, vomiting, pre-eclampsia, breech positioning and cesarean delivery. This story is about learning to be kinder to myself, accepting help, and finding strength in vulnerability.

Skin to skin in the OR; starting my golden hour.

Nausea and Fatigue

In my first trimester, like many birthing people, I experienced severe nausea that limited food and water intake. I worked with my OB/GYN team to try to help address it, but it didn't improve with the second or third trimester. Weirdly, I didn't start throwing up until my second trimester.

Some practical steps helped me manage the nausea:

• Eating small, frequent meals instead of three large ones

• Resting whenever possible, even if it meant cutting back on work

• Working with my OB/GYN team to find medications to help

• Taking my medications at night versus the morning

What I wish I knew then:

• Keeping crackers on my bedside table could help

• Coconut water + Body Armor is delicious and hydrating

• I could have asked for IV fluids, since when I could hydrate myself I felt loads better

To Move or Not to Move

I went from lifting weights and performing HIIT training 3-4 days out of the week and walking 2 miles a day with my dogs to almost nothing seemingly overnight. I preached that movement and strength training exercise is safe and helpful during pregnancy and postpartum (which it is), and yet whenever I tried to do anything even gentle I would often throw up or feel so fatigued I had to sleep for hours.

What I did:

• Frequent rest

• Attempted small walks in the shade and with water

• Tried prenatal yoga and stretching

• Taking my medications at night versus the morning

What I would do with the knowledge I have now:

• Continue to give myself adequate rest

• Work with my OB team to get and stay hydrated

• Start small, but use my community to walk, stretch and trial strengthening on days I am adequately fueled.

• Sit on a pregnancy ball to keep my hips moving

Have my feet always been that swollen?

Starting at about 28 weeks my baby decided breech was best. I tried chiropractic work to help optimize my positioning, posture and reduce tension. It felt amazing! Starting at 36 weeks and 4 days, I felt off, and decided to take my blood pressure, it was something like 140/60. I got a visit that day with my OB and my blood pressure was elevated compared to previous visits but coming down compared to at home. However, my feet and face were swollen AND I had protein in my urine. I was officially diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. Pre-eclampsia, per the Preeclampsia Foundation is defined as "Preeclampsia is persistent high blood pressure that develops during pregnancy or the postpartum period. It is often associated with high levels of protein in the urine OR the new development of decreased blood platelets, trouble with the kidneys or liver, fluid in the lungs, or signs of brain trouble such as seizures and/or visual disturbances." I knew from my training that left untreated it can lead to seizures, stroke or another medical emergency.

They planned to try to turn my baby with a procedure called an ECV: External Cephalic Version at 37 weeks and 4 days. With this procedure I went to the hospital and they monitored my baby as they tried to turn her into the head down positioning. If she did I would be prepped for an induction. I used all my hypnobirthing relaxation strategies while they tried. They said I was as relaxed as I could be but the baby wasn't moving. We decided with the pre-eclampsia and the breech positioning a delivery via cesarean was the safest option. My doula wasn't able to come into the OR but she provided virtual support throughout the day as we got to each step.

Even with my training, I was scared! The cesarean was my first ever surgery. The staff that night was fantastic. They were patient with me as I cried. They held me and comforted me when they placed my spinal for surgery. My OB acted as my doula during the OR time and advocated for me to be able to keep what I could of my birth preferences. This included:

• Delayed cord clamping

• My husband playing my playlist on a speaker near my head

• Starting skin to skin in the OR, and if not me, my husband

• Getting to see my daughter as soon as possible

• Taking pictures of my placenta (weird I know, but I wanted to see the organ that caused me so much grief)

Navigating Postpartum Deconditioning

After birth, my body felt weak and unfamiliar. The months of pregnancy and surgery had led to physical deconditioning. Simple activities like climbing the stairs or walking to the mail box became challenging.

To support my recovery, I:

• Started with light stretching and breathing exercises.

• Gradually increasing activity levels, avoiding any pressure to “bounce back” quickly

• Prioritized sleep and nutrition to fuel my body’s healing process

• Asked for help!

  • Our village came in strong with providing meals, support and space for me to share my story.

    
    

Last picture of myself before I left home to deliver my baby.

Emotional Ups and Downs During Postpartum

The postpartum period brought emotional challenges alongside physical recovery. Hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and the demands of caring for a newborn sometimes left me feeling overwhelmed and isolated. My milk supply wasn't coming in and my baby wasn't gaining weight as expected.

Here’s what helped me emotionally:

• Talking openly with my partner and close friends about my feelings

• Getting a lactation consultant right away who came to my house to help with feedings

• Getting sleep! We ended up combo feeding (formula and breastfeeding) and it changed my life for the better

• Continuing therapy

• Keeping a coloring book handy

  
  

These steps created a support system that made the journey less lonely and more manageable.

Lessons Learned and Moving Forward

My pregnancy and postpartum journey was far from what I expected, but it taught me valuable lessons about resilience and self-compassion. Being kind to myself meant accepting the unexpected, whether it was pregnancy nausea, a cesarean birth, feeding challenges, or the slow pace of postpartum recovery. Sometimes our plans have to change and that's ok!

If you are facing similar challenges, remember:

• Listen to your body

• Seek support-you don't have to wait for it to get "bad enough" to get help

• Celebrate small milestones and progress, no matter how slow

  
  

Every pregnancy and postpartum experience is unique. Embracing your journey with kindness can make all the difference.